Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lucián.

Image
Lucián just graduated High School last week.  Throughout the school years, there were a lot of moments I didn't know if we were going to make it to the finish line. But now we are here, and I couldn't be prouder! I am also grateful and relieved. I still need to process the fact that all of my kids are out of school, with the exception of Angel & college. I no longer have to worry about school and assignments and grades. Or whether or not they will make it. College is different.  I enjoyed her graduation ceremony a lot; I felt present, alive.  My brother and my oldest daughter started planning her graduation party since the beginning of the year. When I found out I was still doing the difficult phase of EMDR, and my mental health was still in bad shape; I couldn't even imagine been able to do any planning, or help. I had a lot of moments thinking that if I couldn't get better and all I could do was to show up and be there for her, that that was good enough; that it w...
Read more

The possibilities ahead.

Image
I believe I am going to start my own business. Online bookkeeping business. I have been a little terrified about this decision as well. On Monday, when I was having a bad anxiety attack, I was thinking, "how in the world are you going to run a business if you have these mental health issues?" "Are you sure you have what it takes to do this?" Then on Tuesday when my head was hurting a lot and I had to schedule an urgent appointment with the chiropractor, I was thinking the same thing - "how in the world am I going to do this?" The other night when I couldn't sleep thinking about it, I remember telling myself, "Well, you are going to do it anyway, you know you are, so what is the point of being so worried to the point of making you sick?"  And taking it one day at a time. I realized that practicing gratitude and grounding myself is helping. If today I still have food and a roof, then today I am okay. Tomorrow is tomorrow. And remembering that i...
Read more

Something Positive.

Image
Yesterday I was going through old photographs for my daughter's Lucián's high school graduation coming up in June.  I have photos going all the way back to 2018; photos I was never able to finish editing, and that I seriously thought I was never going to get to them. Slowly, since last year, I have been able to get to those folders and delete a lot of those photos. Some I am deleting because they just take me back to my worst moments with mental health. Others because I can see them with different eyes now, and they were just not good photos. And others because the editing was also not good. I realized how much my depression and distress was showing in the photos I was taking. Last night I noticed something important. For the first time, I felt that even though one of the reasons the photographs take me back to feel the horrible emotions I was feeling about myself, this time, I felt something different; something positive. You see, I recognized the fact that I was trying, at th...
Read more