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“What is my story?”

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(Photo was taken by my son)  I have therapy on Tuesdays and Wednesdays each week. Although I’m getting better, it is still a lot of work. Normally by Tuesday, I’m realizing now, my nervous system is already dysregulated and I urgently need therapy to ground myself. Sometimes I am afraid I have become dependent on therapy and that I might need it for the rest of my life. But we are not there yet; I do hope that at least I can move to once a week instead of two soon. Lately, I have been working on ideas for my new business, doing research and applying for licenses in the evenings and on Saturday mornings. Today I was feeling overwhelmed by the whole thing so I thought about the blog and writing. The other day when I was feeling on edge, I checked Mark Nepo’s IG page, for inspiration. I saved a quote from him and I try to ground myself with it, often: “Lift your story like a sandbag and pass it on. It will do more good than you can know.” Sometimes when my brain is betraying me, I can...
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The link between concussions and suicidal ideation.

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This post is to create awareness between concussions, which are more common in females, and those who have migraines, mental health problems and had a prior concussion, which I had when I had the car accident. Having concussions and mental health issues can be very scary. I asked my therapist last week, “what was that? Because it scared the hell out of me and I need to understand. It wasn’t my normal darkness taking me down. It was more scary and fast and real.” These were my thoughts as Angel was getting out the door late morning on Saturday, 4th of July weekend and I was  staying home with a mild concussion.  As I washed a few dishes I recognized my suicidal thoughts, mainly because they were more intense and out of the blue. My own thoughts scared me, especially knowing I was home alone and vulnerable. But because it scared me, I was able to quickly get out of there and save myself. “Oh no!! We are not doing this!” I said to myself. My therapist said that there is a link be...
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The possibilities ahead.

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I believe I am going to start my own business. Online bookkeeping business. I have been a little terrified about this decision as well. On Monday, when I was having a bad anxiety attack, I was thinking, "how in the world are you going to run a business if you have these mental health issues?" "Are you sure you have what it takes to do this?" Then on Tuesday when my head was hurting a lot and I had to schedule an urgent appointment with the chiropractor, I was thinking the same thing - "how in the world am I going to do this?" The other night when I couldn't sleep thinking about it, I remember telling myself, "Well, you are going to do it anyway, you know you are, so what is the point of being so worried to the point of making you sick?"  And taking it one day at a time. I realized that practicing gratitude and grounding myself is helping. If today I still have food and a roof, then today I am okay. Tomorrow is tomorrow. And remembering that i...
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