I am fighting with all that I have to rescue myself.
These past months, I have been fighting with all that I have to save myself... The truth is, as it became clearer, that I lost myself. In the abuse, the trauma, the mental health, the darkness. In the trauma loop. I tried, for many painful years, but I didn't know how to build myself up again. Or stand up. It's also truth that I wasn't ready, or in condition to do it. Another truth is that at some point, it also became comfortable. I already knew how to survive inside my mental prison walls. I knew what to do in the okay days, and also the horrible days. But living within those walls is not living, and it was becoming unbearable. When the time came; when I felt this strong feeling of change, I put a lot of resistance at first. I was terrified beyond any words. I also didn't know if I could trust this little voice that honestly, I couldn't even recognize anymore. In fact, my intuition wasn't quite developed. Nor was I. I became imprisoned of my survival and
