Seven Golds

Rescuing myself. Building myself up from under the ground & depths of mental health & darkness, to build a better future. Create. Figure out how to transform my mental health into a superpower, instead of working against me. Transitioning to life, share the Story. Lover of mountains, sea, sunsets, books. Of the innocence of children and genuine smiles.

Being lost.

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April 18, 2024

I completely lost myself. I didn't know how to build myself back up.

I haven't known how to build myself back up....

Paty ♥

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Comments

Stubbornness, Strength, & Grace.

August 26, 2023

I have borderline personality disorder symptoms. I had forgotten all about it. I started therapy again, at the beginning of this year. But it has been so challenging! I have faced so many adversities completely out of my control that have set me back, a lot of times. I have had weeks without therapy, several times, for different reasons. And in only six months I had to, involuntarily, switch therapists. I am with my third one now. Every time it has been a major setback, since is like starting all over again, from the beginning. In the dark hole of my mental health, I was forced to ask myself questions- important questions. Why do I get like this? It doesn't feel normal. I realized it has to do with borderline personality disorder (BPD). I was able to look back; look at the present and see all the suffering and pain from this illness. Sometimes it gets extremely ugly. I have experienced psychosis episodes already. And the not wanting to live days happen more than I wish. Monday wa

One year in Therapy- a little milestone.

November 28, 2023

What's next? What is the action plan? I asked my therapist yesterday. I have been talking about my past and traumas and mental health with her, since we started, because I wanted her to understand the Why and the history. Talking about it all was intense. Terrifying. Triggering. Deliberating. I have been hoping for this moment, since I started therapy in November of last year, right after Thanksgiving. The moment of having shared all the things that are difficult to share (little note - I know I share very little in this blog, and that it might be difficult to understand the struggles and the whys of my mental health, but I am not ready to talk about it all. At least not here, and not yet-). It took a year to make it to this little milestone. All the challenges. The having to start all over again with therapist after therapist. I realized, today, how much perseverance it took. How much I endured, and how many times I wanted to quit when my mind screamed loud and louder that I wa