Relapses, connecting with reality (truly), and finding myself (a little).

Putting reality in perspective. I think I am still trying to find that balance between acceptance and fighting for my mental wellbeing and a better tomorrow. When another relapse happens it completely throws me off. I start feeling like all the progress I made is gone. I feel stuck again, quick and fast. If in those difficult moments I am able to find one tiny second of clarity to tell myself my betraying thoughts are not true, I can save myself. Even if I can’t see that reality. I discovered that two things are true: - Relapses happen even if I continue to struggle to admit it. And it doesn’t mean I lost all of my progress. - They are setbacks and when I am recovering from them it actually feels like I am starting all over again. Because I feel lost, mentally unstable & exhausted, and my brain needs to be re-wired again. I need to bring myself back; remember who I am, and what my struggle is. I actually go back to my journal, to read my notes, so I can reconnect w...