Seven Golds

I was spending time trying to figure out what to write today. Something light, some words of motivation or encouragement to send your way, because I feel like it was a heavy week not just for me, but for many. But I was there, frozen, struggling to find some light in the chaos and the darkness, and the depression that hits sometimes, and the unexpected $2,000 quote to fix my car, and all the little things that keep breaking around the house, the fatigue from physical therapy, the news of the death of an old family friend, and, and... Then I wrote about something completely different. Deleted it. Massaged my neck in the heat of my room with no AC. Asked God for help. How can I pretend to say encouraging words when there is so much going on? The truth is that after two hours of trying to find inspiration myself, I think I failed. At least tonight. But I can leave you with this instead, this question, to ask yourself: Why are you still here? In this moment in time? In this Universe, with ...

I came across a good explanation the other day, about what Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) is, and I decided to share it to continue creating awareness since it is an illness that has affected me deeply, and few people know about what it is. This post was written by an account I follow dedicated to creating suicide awareness. "" C-PTSD can develop after experiencing repeated or long-term trauma, especially when a person feels trapped or unable to escape. This may include childhood abuse, or neglect, domestic violence, human trafficking, ongoing emotional abuse, prolonged bullying, or living in a war zone. Unlike PTSD, which is often linked to a single traumatic event, C-PTSD is associated with ongoing or repeated traumatic experiences. People living with C-PTSD may experience symptoms of PTSD, such as: Flashbacks or intrusive memories. Nightmares. Avoiding reminders of the trauma. Feeling constantly alert or on edge. But they might also struggle with: Difficul...

  I am so tired from the week, I didn't think I could write something.  About a month or two ago I finally finished editing ALL the photos from a trip to Rainier with Lucián in 2018. I deleted a lot. Others I re-edited.  Since I have been dealing with health problems, I haven't been able to do a complete deep cleaning in my house. The last time was in October, but it resulted in messing up my neck muscles even more, so I decided to stop. I slowly and periodically do as I can and as needed.  My desk has been a source of stress because when I work there, I feel overwhelmed- my mind needs clean and organized spaces, but other big things have priority now. Then I get more overwhelmed because I want to clean the whole house, and I can't, or I know how long just one task will take and it feels like too much. I finally accepted that this little thing actually keeps my mind in chaos, which results in more stress and less clarity. So, I finally cleaned it today. A big challen...

When the insurance denied more physical therapy appointments and I had to stop, I had a feeling it was a bad idea. The physical therapist then assured me that I had made a lot of progress, and that with all the exercises she gave me to do at home, I would be okay. I wanted to believe her. Still, my intuition and my body were telling me otherwise. I knew I was making progress, but it was slowly, and I knew I still needed more work. I was also afraid that the progress I had made would reverse. And because I was improving, my chiropractor finally switched me from every two weeks to once a month. I lasted three weeks. Until I had to call him back to request a visit right away because I had been in a lot of pain, waiting to get better by doing the exercises, but without the proper care, I was getting worse. I told my chiropractor I needed more physical therapy and asked him if he could write me another referral and if he would help if the insurance denied it again. My treatment had been sto...