There is no letting go without acceptance. And what is good, anyway?


I realized this week that we can't let go if we don't accept things first. Exactly as they are. Without guilt.

Acceptance comes first. And not just once. 

Then comes the letting go. And the freedom. "Acceptance is freedom because you are ultimately deciding to stop fighting yourself." I read that letting go needs three qualities:

acceptance.

objective observation of the present moment.

the effort to keep choosing more skillful actions than the past.

And patiently because I don't like how it makes me feel, but I can't skip the messiness of the middle part. The magic happens here.

I also had to google, first thing in the morning the other day after a night of panics & realizing that I am still struggling with deep insecurity. This one article listed three things, to overcome insecurity:

having a voice.

expressing your needs.

knowing your value.

My mind immediately & defensively goes to, "remember what happened the last time you expressed a need?" "We don't go there because it's not safe." But because I am working on acceptance, in this specific moment when my brain starts going into survival, I remember to accept what I am feeling in the moment. And then I choose to either allow the things I know I need to feel or just move on to what needs my attention like work, business, or taking care of myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two of the questions this week: How do you lead with love when you are angry?

And what is good, anyway?  And who defines it? Because every time I don't listen to my own judgement and/or intuition, because I start feeling like a bad person, things don't go well. An experience at the end of last week finally took me to learning the lesson of trusting my own judgements, decisions & intuition. If I don't, I am going to continue using the few energies I have in recovering instead of creating.

Wanting to be or appear 'good,' comes from our own ego. Because our intuition is that little voice from God or the Universe - wisdom and light live here. 

This also took me to go deeper into accepting myself as I am; faults and all. 

One of the quotes this week: "Acceptance is when you stop bargaining with reality and place your energy on the one person you can control: yourself."

One of the little wins this week (my little mouse), was that this was my first week not going to physical therapy. I had a day midweek where I wasn't sure if I was going to make it or not, but that day I did more than the normal amount of my PT exercises, and it helped. I have officially made it through the first week of no PT since November. I also added 5 lbs to a few reps this week without pain, and that made me happy.

I keep thinking that I don't like to post on Fridays; especially this late. But as of now, I can't write during the week, so this is better than not writing at all. And when I start getting frustrated for writing so late on a Friday night, I remind myself that I am actually grateful that I am able to start blogging again.

If you are one of the rare souls reading me on Friday night, thank you. ♥

Here,

Paty ♥
Love. Zeal. Balance.

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