What this Blog is about.

Mental health is complex and messy. Life is complex and messy. My mind still feels really messed up a lot of times. During these moments I still get angry, but I am in a place where I can feel the anger and let it pass through me without consuming my soul.

I still have bad days with panic or anxiety attacks. Or days when darkness takes over. Living with mental health is not easy. Most of the time I am trying, fighting, or accepting. Sometimes I want to give up because I’m too tired. These are the days I need grace the most. 

I’m still learning not to be judgemental towards myself, when I come into my limitations again. When I slip and start putting a lot of pressure on my recovery and myself. 

But I am noticing that every time the struggles get real again, I recover a little stronger. These are my small wins. Small wins that are kind of a big deal to me.

I’m still struggling with headaches, and at times it affects my mental health. I made mistakes at first until I realized it was serious & I needed to accept that the recovery would not only be slow but take a few months. How many really depends on how much I take care of myself. Most of the time I try to be patient, apply grace. Eventually, I will recover, and I will be able to do the things I still can’t fully do. 

When I had the head incident, I was having bad paranoia. I felt I was in danger, and that is why I threw myself on my bed in the dark. I haven’t told anyone except my therapist. I felt shame; I didn’t want to talk about it. I also didn’t want others to worry about me.

But I need grace, not shame. And this blog is about mental health awareness, my struggles with it, & the messiness of life. I do want to document life a little more. 

It is also about beginning to talk more about celebrating the little things, the little wins, and the things I am proud of.

And figuring out how to make it until the end goal – writing the book.

Here, 

Paty ♥