A Letter to my present Self-

 

I hope “the night sky touches your soul. I hope you fall in love with being alive again." I hope you fall in love with yourself, after trauma. I hope you choose this, each day. I hope you continue to love mountains, sunsets, beaches and rain. Coffee, candles, perfume and flowers. The morning breeze. All the ordinary, little things and moments of daily life. Especially the days you need to hang on to something. I hope you never stop fighting and rescuing yourself. Smiling with strangers, children, animals and nature.

I hope you continue to love all of your repaired pieces, even with their cracks.  I hope you know that when you were broken, it was not a sign of weakness, but of strength, humility, honesty and acceptance. That it was needed for transformation. I hope you do your best to choose genuineness and expression over protectiveness and isolation. 

I hope all that you have endured inspires others.

 

I hope you open yourself to love and to "the beauty of the earth;" to the beauty of the world, even when it continues to be chaotic and unsettled. I hope you bring back your beautiful smile and manage to smile more often. I hope your healing helps others heal. I hope you know this world needs you. 

I hope that when the darkness takes over, you remember your spirit and perseverance. Your beauty. I hope you speak your truth, in time. The world can only heal and change with truth, not denial. 

I hope you always find that inner force, and choose bravery, courage and grace in times of fear, confusion and despair. I hope you are brave enough to be yourself as you are, daily, but especially during the days you are losing yourself in need of approval and love. 

I hope you continue to see others. See their struggles, but also their light. See the ones who are being violated, abused, and who are unseen or overlooked, while their dignity, rights and self-worth are denied. That your "heart is always moved by the anguish and suffering of the other." I hope you continue to remind others of their beauty and worth. 

And that you always love the innocence of children, but above all, that you work to protect that innocence.

I hope you build a beautiful future after trauma, and despite your mental health. I hope you build using love and creativity. Your thoughts, desires and hopes of a better tomorrow. I hope you don't stop believing in magic again. In yourself.

I hope you know that when your children and loved ones saw you broken on the floor, or during the times they wanted to help you but didn't know how to; also, the times they had to experience some of your worst mental health struggles - I hope you know that they don't hold it against you. I hope one day they remember all of you; struggles and wins. But I especially hope they remember how hard you fought when you had lost hope, power, control, dreams, light, life, yourself and your abilities. I hope they always remember how hard you fought to not cause them more pain, and to save yourself.  How much you fought to offer them a better life. I hope they always know how proud you are of them. 

I hope you figure out how to be open to love, joy and enthusiasm. That you never stop growing. Continue to push forward, no matter the circumstances. I hope you continue to find ways to be more lighthearted when life gets tough. I hope you never give up what you believe in, for comfort, nor acceptance or fear. I hope you never stop looking for better ways to cope with your intense emotions, and continue to work with your mental health, instead of against it. Continue to allow God.

I hope you know you are safe now.

Paty ♥
Learn. Believe. Allow.