i am coming back to me.

 i am not my traumas, my mental health or my pain and suffering. i am not the things that happened to me.

But they are part of me. They have shaped me, affected me, and caused irreversible damage. To deny reality is to deny who i am. Denying my own rights, dignity and voice.

I have been walking the lonely and difficult path less traveled - I can assure you that it is actually harder than they say it is - because I wanted it to end with me. I am still working on it, for all of those things I wanted to end were passed on to me growing up, and possibly by past generations. 

I am realizing, once again, how hard I can be on myself. But perfectionism was also a trauma response. Anything less than perfect was met with lack of love, punishment and abuse.

I don't love my traumas, but I am learning to love my pieces. I became so dissociated from my body, myself, and my soul, but little by little, i am coming back to me. To safety.

i am coming back to me - I love this. 

It is my responsibility to share my story and my journey. To create awareness. I still have some work to do, prioritizing my mental health and to continue gaining more strength and confidence.

At the right time, I will write the book.

Then, I will spend the rest of my life talking about abuse, especially the abuse caused by the ones who are supposed to protect us. Traumas and their irreversible damages. Mental health, suicide and stigma. And recovery and resilience.

It sure feels like i am in for a ride.

Paty ♥
Learn. Believe. Allow.