Seven Golds

  In 2024, I gave the fight of my life. I started fighting for my recovery and healing without any strength and without knowing if I was doing the right thing. I was challenged and tested with so many obstacles, fears and setbacks. A lot of times I thought I wasn't going to make it through, or that I was never going to get better. Each time, I had to challenge those thoughts. "It's possible to get better, it's possible..." I would repeat this over and over. "It's possible, I can do it." My therapist would say, sometimes that recovery is possible. I believe the last time she said this was only a month or two ago. Something would click in me, whenever she said this affirmation: 'recovery is possible.' Unfamiliar words holding a truth, realizing that if she was saying it, she had a reason for it.  I had to face, internally, all that was unresolved. When I realized how lost I was, I had to find myself. I worked a lot on the relationship with myse...

  An article I was reading this week talked about the privilege that it is to use our words.  I keep going back to this - our words are a privilege. They also carry a lot of power. I don't really support the sentiment of not taking anything personal, because I believe that anything directed at you is personal! This sentiment only promotes the idea of not having to be responsible with our words and making the person receiving them culpable for how they feel and how they react.   I truly believe that our words have the power to destroy others or build them up. To create hope or hate. War or peace. To be authentic and honest, or in denial. Encourage or discourage. Diminish or strengthen. Build character or destroy character. Make others feel small, or important and unique. They carry either wisdom, or ignorance.  There is also the decision to know if we use our words or we stay quiet. There have been a thousand times I didn't write or post anything because I didn't...

  "The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Paty ♥ Learn. Believe. Allow. Love. Zeal. Balance.

  "When the unthinkable happens, and does not relent, we fall through our hubris toward an inner flow, an abiding & rebirthing darkness that feels like home." - Barbara Holmes "The crisis begins without warning, shatters our assumptions about the way the world works, and changes our story & the stories of our neighbors. The reality that was so familiar to us is gone suddenly, and we don't know what is happening. If life, as we experience it, is a fragile crystal orb that holds our daily routines and dreams of order and stability, then sudden & catastrophic crises shatter this illusion of normalcy. [...] It is cracking open, the rupture and shuttering of self, community expectations, and presumptions about how the world works. It is the result of trauma, free fall and wounding." "There are many entry points into these sacred reflective spaces." And there are many rebirths and many deaths. The Journey changed me. But it also took me to who i ...

I have been struggling with confidence, and this is what my therapist said, when I told her I needed help with it because I just couldn't figure it out: Confidence and humility are not opposite; they work together. Humble means that you are open and still learning. You are confident on your abilities and on making decisions, but you are still open to others’ experiences, knowledge and learning more. Having assurance communication vs. aggressive communication.  I expressed that whenever I tried, something in me hesitated and I couldn't get past that. That my relationship with confidence is as bad as my relationship with power: unhealthy, confusing, complicated, outrageous and tiring. I told her I am struggling understanding its real meaning, and that I feel confidence is the opposite of humility. We talked about how I have experienced arrogance, which is not the same as confidence, but now I may confuse it with it, and how my idea of confidence is possibly twisted. We talked abo...

i am enough. Paty ♥